do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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