Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
