matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
