so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Randomize
