i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize
