So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize
