You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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