WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Randomize
