Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Randomize
