Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Randomize
