cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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