The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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