I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Randomize
