He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
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