Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
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