Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
