she woke up with a sticky ear
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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