I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Randomize
