'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
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