So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
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