so explain again why im purple
no
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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