it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
