oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Randomize
