Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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