you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
