Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize
