You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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