I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
