Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
They should really pass out barf bags in church
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Randomize
