no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
40s are totally the cure
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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