Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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