you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Randomize
