What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
