Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
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