Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Randomize
