just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Randomize
