You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
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