i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Randomize
