I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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