i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Randomize
