I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
