oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
