I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
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