i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize
