Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize