You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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