i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Operation Purity has been aborted
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Rumble strips road head = magical
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
