I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
i think my cat just said my name.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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