sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I just forgot I was standing up.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Randomize
