Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Randomize
