So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
this hospital has no fireball
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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