I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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