He is like the real live version of the state fair..
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize
