ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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