so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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