So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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