Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
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