32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Randomize
