i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
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