Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Randomize
