she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Randomize
