Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
