some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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