I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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