I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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