Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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