Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
You did what with his pubic hair?
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