Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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